kat
Have you ever felt so tiny? So weak? So helpless? I do, especially when I play soccer! I never played soccer growing up, and I never thought I would, that is, until I started attending my church.
Whenever a flying object comes towards me, whether a volleyball, tennis ball, basketball, beach ball. You name it! I can’t help but flinch!
Naturally, soccer scares me because not only do balls fly at you but sometimes people too. I don’t understand all the rules, it gets really hot, and a soccer ball to the face no doubt would be painful!
Either way, last Sunday I played soccer and SPOILER (and humble brag): my team won!
The crazy thing is I thought we would lose; it felt probable with myself on the team. It was five against five, and the players on my team remarked that the other team had some pretty good players, so I was worried.
One of the team captains said he didn’t want me to be left alone in the back. I was playing defense, and I’m new to this game, so I don’t know all the rules. I need guidance, somebody to tell me where to go, what to do, where to move.
This same team captain also shared a testimony of the time he experienced a game where things weren’t looking so good for them. The other team scored 6, and they’d only scored 1 goal, and somehow in the end they won. So I held onto that hope, thinking perhaps God could help us win too.
At the beginning of the game, my team tied with the other team, but then the other team scored two more goals! I felt this disappointment come over me. One of the goals happened because someone threw the soccer ball at me and it bounced off my thigh, right into my team’s soccer net! How embarrassing! But the guys were kind enough to say it’s ok, and reassure me that stuff like this always happens in real soccer games. So I was thankful they were understanding.
I always talk to God as I play and ask him to help me play well and to win. Sometimes I feel embarrassed because I’m not the best player and make lots of mistakes. Still, I keep coming out because growing up I played sports like track, cross country, and karate. I realize improvement is possible when you don’t give up. If you fall you just need to get back up and try again.
That day the Sunday message at my church was titled, “I Jehovah Will Accompany You and Help you,” based on this scripture from Joshua 1:5-6, “5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.” Emphasis on the line “Be strong and courageous.”
I kept thinking about this phrase, precisely the part of the message when my pastor said we must be bold at this time in our lives.
Before the next section of the game started, our team gathered in a huddle to discuss strategy and do a chant before heading back into our positions. I was feeling a bit discouraged and upset at myself. One of my teammates asked if we should repeat the same chant as last time, “No man left behind,” (no man, referencing me, lol).
It was funny and heartwarming at first, but when asked if we wanted to do the same chant again I said, “No, I’m trying to think about something from the Sunday message. Hmm…how about be bold…and courageous, is that what it was?” I tilted my head, unsure if that was what today’s scripture said (I couldn’t remember), and I searched for confirmation in someone’s face, but they all just went with it. So we gathered all our fists together and raised them high in the sky, chanting, “Be Bold, Be Courageous!”
I felt this newfound sense of determination, this adrenaline rush. As we played, I kept repeating, “Be bold, be courageous!” under my breath. I kept talking to God during the entire game, asking him what I should do, asking him to help my teammates, to give them wisdom, and asking him to also help the other team because I felt it was unfair for me to ask God to only support one team-after all these are all my brothers.
Everyone was exhausted because it was so humid and hot. I started to notice many of the players on the other team losing their stamina.
I stood at the back when the action was on the opposite team’s side. I noticed a yellow butterfly fly past me during one of those moments! I yelled, “Look, guys, a butterfly!” but nobody cared; everyone was too busy and far away to notice or hear me. Suddenly I felt the Holy Spirit say to me, “Boldness and courage isn’t dependent on strength, size, or brute force. Boldness and courage can also be gentle, small, delicate, caring.” I realized, oh it’s just like the butterfly effect. Seemingly small actions, beings, or things can seem to have tiny, insignificant effects, however unbeknownst to us, they create huge ripple effects which determine the outcome of everything in this world.
Suddenly the opposing team started coming closer to our side with the intention to score. It all happened so fast; balls were suddenly flying close to my face, people were coming my way with the ball, and I could only do one thing!
Run towards them, even if I had no idea what would happen if I did that, or what the player’s next move would be. Coming towards them makes them move their position, I was told, so even if you can’t stop them from making a goal it’s better to move or defend than to stand still. They might not expect you coming, so it might be enough to startle them, make them stumble, change positions, or move back.
My pastor once shared this amusing story that reminds me of this. It’s the story about a courageous rabbit. Once there was a hungry tiger who went to look for food and caught a rabbit. He thought he caught a delicious lunch, but just before the tiger was going to eat the rabbit, the tiger lost the rabbit. Why? Well, the rabbit looked at the tiger and the eyes of tiger and the rabbit met! The rabbit stared down the tiger, giving him a dirty look and said to the tiger, “What are you looking at you, you bastard?” The tiger was suddenly surprised because no animal had ever dared to stare down a tiger before, nevertheless stand up against him with such brazen, yet bold words.
The tiger was taken aback by the situation, so much so he let the rabbit go. The tiger felt embarrassed and went hungry that day. The more he thought about the situation the angrier he felt at the rabbit and himself. The next time he went out to hunt for food, he found a rabbit again and was about to eat it but he lost it again! How did he lose it? This rabbit turned out to be the exact same one as the last time. The tiger thought, “Oh boy, now you’re really dead!” once he caught the rabbit. He was gonna eat the rabbit when the rabbit locked eyes with the tiger again and said “Hey, don’t you recognize me, it’s me you bastard!” The tiger was so surprised he lost the rabbit again!
Now the tiger felt so down on himself, saying, “I’m an idiot! Why did I let him go again? How did I let myself be victimized by this rabbit? I’m a tiger! Now all the animals are gonna talk about how I lost the rabbit twice. I’m gonna surely find him again and eat this darn rabbit!”
So he went all over the mountains looking for this rabbit, and one day he saw a rabbit from a distance. It was that exact rabbit he had been looking for. He quietly went up to it and practiced what he would do and how he would react.
“I’m not gonna let him slip from my fingers again. I’m just eat it, and I won’t get caught up in his deception!” he thought. At once, the tiger pounced on the rabbit and the rabbit thought he was gonna die. “There is no way I’m gonna survive,” the rabbit thought, but actually the tiger died right away.
Now, how could a rabbit kill a tiger? The tiger pounced on the rabbit and tried hard not to make eye contact with him. Yet, the rabbit didn’t ask for mercy or plead for his own life. The tiger opened his eyes in surprise. Suddenly, the rabbit looked at the tiger with kindness, smiled and said to the tiger, “You know what, all the animals know you let me go! I spread the rumor to all the animals in the valley!” The tiger was so ashamed he couldn’t stand it. Filled with hopelessness and shame, he came to his senses, jumped off a cliff and died.
What an insane ending right? Poor tiger! Now obviously this a parable, not meant to be taken literally. But the point of this amusing story is, there are so many moments where we can get discouraged. Many difficulties happen in our lives. But my pastor said every time he felt like a rabbit caught by a tiger, Jesus told him “Be brave and courageous,” and shared these kind of stories with him. God said to him- just as he told the Israelites- I will be with you don’t worry and don’t be afraid! I will fight with you on your side, be strong and very courageous.
It’s about as much as we know and believe. Knowledge is power. But knowledge without faith is nothing.
To reach a blessing or a victory- like the Israelites getting out of slavery and traveling through the desert of zin to reach the blessed land of Canaan- we have to be bold and courageous!
Now, back to my soccer story. In this moment, the only other move I could make was to kick the ball out of the field if the ball came to me. But I was told I shouldn’t try to shoot or kick the ball-perhaps because my aim isn’t that great yet.
I threw the ball out of the field a few times, and they’d say, “Good job, Kat!” It was pretty funny because I felt like I was cheating by doing that but apparently, it’s not against the rules. I did so at the right time but we hadn’t scored anymore goals so we could still lose. Time was running out, so I asked God, “Please, God, please turn things around, though we are losing.”
Towards the end of the game, the other team started coming in even more aggressively, and about two to three times this really tall guy came towards me with the ball. Whereas I usually run away from him, this time I thought to myself, “Be bold, be courageous!’ and ran straight towards him until I reached him and incapable of controlling myself, I tried to kick the ball!
He shot the ball to make a goal, but somehow it hit the top of my foot so I blocked it! Woohoo! The next time someone else came towards me again, I boldly went towards him. He kicked the ball before I could reach him but my knee blocked it. The next time someone threw the ball towards the goal, my ankle blocked it! I didn’t know what I was doing at all. I was unconsciously making moves that somehow stopped the ball.
At the end, one of the elders made one final goal, then shortly after time ran out so my team won the game. After, I told the elder this story- about me unconsciously blocking the ball repeatedly and unintentionally. He said “You know what that’s called? It’s the Holy Spirit,” which makes sense because I had no idea what I was doing, but God did. It was indeed God who guided me and helped me to make moves even if I didn’t know what the outcome would be.
I was incredulous when I found out we won! “Is it really over? Wow, did we win?”
“Yeah, we did,” the elder said. I exclaimed cheerfully, though the other team looked quite sad, so I quickly stopped doing that.
I told this elder how I was talking to God during the game and asked him to help us win. I shared that I felt so small and wondered how I could do anything to help my team win when I feel inexperienced and weak.
Then he said something that truly moved my heart. “You felt you weren’t doing anything, but actually, you did the most during the game by praying.” Though I felt small and I am inexperienced, that didn’t matter to God. He still used me to help our team win the game.
My testimony speaks to the power of having faith. Undeniably, anything is possible if you have faith as small as a mustard seed.
Jesus talked about having faith as small as a mustard seed in the following parable (a parable is metaphor used to illustrate a spiritual concept, Jesus often spoke in parables), “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. 32 Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches.” (Matthew 13:31-32)
A mustard seed is really small seed, like as small as a dot; when the physical conditions are right it has the ability to grow into a big tree. In the same way, miracles happen only when there’s a condition (or certain preparation); that condition is the foundation of faith. If I didn’t have even the tiniest faith that God would help us I wouldn’t have prayed, but deep down inside I believed. So upon that foundation of faith God worked to show me a miracle. Yes, small as winning a soccer game may seem- it is a huge miracle! One of those magnificent daily miracles upon which more extraordinary miracles can be built and revealed to us.
“Wow, it works; prayer and calling out to God works!” I exclaimed to no one in particular as everyone rested. I was so shocked about what had just happened.
“Of course it does, Kat,” my friend Taylor proclaimed.
“I know,” I said, “But sometimes you doubt and wonder, will it really work?”
I thank God for blessing me so I could experience this miracle. After all I’ve gone through in the last week, I really needed a win to regain strength and faith, and I think God knew that, and so he accompanied me. He did not leave me, just as he said. Just as he told Joshua before they went to battle.
This same week God made another miracle happen. He healed my grandmother overnight and filled her with great strength and faith; it was so impressive to see her this way. She was so sick and suddenly she regained her appetite and strength to sit up on her hospital bed on her own. God indeed heals the sick and fills them with the power to fight even the worst illnesses.
God makes all kinds of miracles happen daily, but will we be bold enough to sacrifice whatever is blocking us from seeking Him? Whether that be our pride, biases, or disbelief. Will we be courageous enough to have faith in the unseen, or in what we have yet to see clearly, as improbable as the circumstances may seem? Will we have an open heart and mind? Will you seek answers and allow God to show you a miracle?
Miracles happen only when there’s a condition, a foundation of faith, even if it’s as small as a mustard seed. Allow yourself to believe and watch God shock you. He will surely bring you to your Canaan; he will surely help you receive your blessing. Ask for it, believe it is yours, and He will deliver. He always does, even if it’s not as expected, God’s blessings are always good.
