katWhat’s your deepest darkest secret? I’m talking bout your dirtiest laundry. The stuff you’d imagine your secret FBI agent knows. Yep, that kind of stuff.
Every person in the world has things they’ve done they absolutely regret. Maybe there are things in your past you wish never happened, past mistakes you wish you could revert. The kind of stuff you keep in the recesses of your mind.
Like the year you started at a new school and were terribly bullied. Or when you were overweight. The time someone hurt you. The time you hurt someone. That abusive ex-boyfriend you never talk about. Or when you didn’t speak in elementary school, everyone thought you were weird.
You pretend these things never happened; you hide these parts of your past. They are distant, suppressed, or even blocked memories. Maybe you hardly remember them; they are fragmented puzzle pieces in your mind.
Until one day, the memory pops up in your head. You remember, and you do one of two things 1.) ruminate on it 2.) shut the memory away. You feel embarrassed and pretend it never happened. Or you feel guilty or as sad as can be, so you don’t like opening the wound and hide it away. Or you’re the third and special, accomplished person I plan on helping you turn into today. 🙂
There are a few things that happened to me I struggle talking about because they’re a.) traumatic and challenging to talk about. b.) I might cry c.) not the kind of stuff you share with anyone, or else they might discount you as mentally insane, misunderstand you, or not listen compassionately.
These are valid reasons you wouldn’t want to talk or even think about your past pain or mistakes. I never talked about my past until one day, I just burst. I found friends who also opened up about similar pains. If you never open up, you’re bound to have an emotional outburst. It would help to open up to someone; you might be surprised at what you realize or how well someone supports you. You might even gain a new friend, but there’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother: God (Proverbs 18:24).
I shared my difficulties with friends more than God when I was younger. Though my friends comforted me, they couldn’t change the problem as they were also broken people. Two drowning people can’t save each other. It’s like when you’re on an airplane, and they advise you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first in an emergency.
God is the only being high enough to save us and change our situation. Sure, friends can help and be compassionate ears. God can work through them to help or comfort you through difficult times. But telling God first is the best thing you can do. Then you will recognize God and the Holy Spirit speaking through the people you confide in. It’s best to confide in true, like-minded friends. Friends who are kind, empathetic, and loving like Jesus.
Today, I encourage you to open up to your friends. The Lord encourages us to confess our sins to each other, to love, and help our brothers and sisters as shown in the following verses:
“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” [James 5:13-16]
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” [Galatians 6:2]
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” [Mark 12:30-31]
“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” [Proverbs 28:13]
“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” [1 Thessalonians 5:11]
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” [Ephesians 4:32]
After years of talking to God about some things I’ve gone through, my perception and mentality have grown more robust, so those things don’t affect me as much anymore.
But some things still hurt. I told God how much I wished to open up about a particular part of my past to my friends. Still, the more I had this heart, the more I opened up to God. Through prayer, I found healing and gained deep understanding and wisdom. God revealed to me many things about the world. One day I will share my story with you all and what I realized, but it will have to be another time, the right time.
The other day, as one of my friends was taking me home, she opened up about her past. I was surprised to find the sins I yearned to confess to someone she, too, had committed. I openly shared without tears in my eyes. I still felt sad thinking about what could’ve been had I never gone through those situations. Still, because I conversed with God so much, I found peace and a resolution, the hope of which I shared with my friend.
I felt God allowed the opportunity to happen at the right time. And my heart was very moved because I knew God made it so I could open up to my friend at the right time. Through confessing my sins, I felt less alone and better understood God’s great love and mercy. I also realized God truly knows our hearts, and the depths of our suffering, and indeed He gives way to freedom and healing.
I feel this incredible sense of mission, knowing that other people have gone through what I have. I feel less alone and realize I must be the one to talk about it and help others know there’s a savior who can free us from the bondage and shackles of sin. Our brokenness is not repellant to God’s love. In fact, it is in our brokenness that we realize his tenderness and grow in deeper intimacy with God.
In the same way, our scars shouldn’t be hidden from our loved ones forever. It is when you share those past mistakes you swore you’d take with you to the grave that you find liberation and help others do the same.
Even if we have made mistakes, we must know God is our redeemer. He sent Jesus to save and heal everyone. No wrongdoing or sin is too great for him to redeem. No one is too far gone, not even you.
