katOk so I just finished reading/listening to my favorite series of all time called, The Lunar Chronicles. It is easily one of the best sci-fi, romance, action-adventure I’ve ever read, seriously. IYKYK.
So anyway this is legit my 7th time reading this series (I think I’ve read it once a year since I was in 9th grade) and I’m always so surprised by how much it moves me and surprises me. It’s so full of plot twists.
But this time I found this amazing audiobook by the lovely, amazingly talented Emel whose Youtube channel I am linking here: www.youtube.com/@storieswithemel.
She is an incredible audiobook reader, even though she is super humble about it. I only own the “Cinder” book so I listened to the rest of the books on her Youtube channel. When I tell you I was wearing headphones and ignoring the entire world for two whole weeks I MEAN IT. I was so captivated by this amazing story yet again. But I felt guilty because although it’s a great series I found myself idolizing it.
“What is an idol and what’s so wrong about idolizing fictional stories?” you might be thinking. An idol is anything we prioritize above God and I found myself playing this audiobook most nights and falling asleep to it instead of reading my Bible or praying. I started to wonder why I was feeling this way? Why did I want to escape my reality so badly? As a young girl I struggled a lot with maladaptive daydreaming- I’d create entire scenarios, especially in middle school, imagining myself being in a romantic relationship – what I’m about to confess is so cringe – with the members of One Direction. I really blame Wattpad for this. I realized this book series was a sort of comfort read, but also an escape and distraction from my reality. I remember spending an entire summer watching the movie Tangled over and over again, like I swear it’s all I watched. What I did not want to face was how much I was struggling internally.
I thought I’d overcome this beast or sin but alas here I was finding myself going back to my old habits. Somehow I found a Tangled edit and liked it, then within seconds other Tangled edits popped up on my instagram feed and now the entire thing is littered with cute videos of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. It’s a trap!
So I started analyzing myself and wondering why I had fallen back into my old habits.
Why was I going back to old Kat. Kat who would bury herself deep in books to escape her reality. Kat who watched shows endlessly to escape her problems. Kat who was lazy, unmotivated, and sought only momentary comforts. Kat who would do the bare minimum to get by, seeking to fulfill her fleshy desires over spiritual freedom.
Now I’m not blaming “The Lunar Chronicles” here- it’s a great series and every once in a while ( a girl’s gotta binge a great sci-fi, action-adventure, romance series, lol. My problem *cue Anti-hero by Taylor Swift* was me. I was the one who took this enjoyable series and turned it into an obsession to escape…well, myself.
Last night I sat in my bed and finally confronted myself. I sinned not just because I idolized this book series, but because I was starting to feel an intense desire for a romantic relationship so much so that the fleshy desire was triumphing over the desire to spend time with God- to love Him, my one true love.
I was reflecting on how some sins are not always so obvious. Looking at someone and finding them attractive, or admiring a person’s beauty is quite normal, quite natural for a human being that in itself, I think, is not sin. After all, God implanted the desire to marry and procreate in our bodies, but when we take our attraction a step forward and start fantasizing and lusting- that is a very big issue.
Desire for a relationship is quite normal, an obsession with romance is not. A woman’s purpose- or rather any human being’s purpose- is not simply to exist for a man or to marry; there is so much more to life than just physical love.I learned this lesson a few years ago. I’ve vowed myself to celibacy until I reach a certain point of physical and spiritual maturity- and I know I’m not quite there yet. So I’ve entrusted this part of my life to the Lord. But I’m human so sometimes I feel the intense desire to be in a relationship. Last night I read a thread on threads that explained why we sin repeatedly- committing sins we thought we’d already healed from. It’s because we have not fully surrendered that sin to the Lord, because we are trying to handle it all on our own. In those moments of temptation or when we have lustful, sinful thoughts we need to call on the Lord and rebuke those thoughts in the name of Jesus!
So after reading that thread I found myself making an intentional effort to call on the Lord when I felt tempted. Often this obsession with romantic love can lead to action. When the heart falls the body will follow, which is why it is so important to guard our heart and thoughts. The greatest weapons to arm ourselves with are the Word and prayer. So I’ve started filling myself with God’s Word and prayer again.
This morning I prayed a passionate prayer and was reflecting with God about my feelings. I repented for not fully trusting God with this part of my life and as Song of Songs 8:3-5 says, “awakening love before its time.”
Song of Songs 8:3-5
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.”
I used to read the craziest, steamiest scenes in books and watch the nastiest scenes without even batting an eye. I did not have parents who censored much of anything. Most of the time my mom wasn’t home but busy working. All I was doing by exposing myself to those images was awakening love before its time and I did not know it. I kind of feel like my generation was the first to experience unbridled access to the internet; like we were some kind of experiment and we are definitely suffering the consequences of that.
It’s hard when you keep committing the same sin over and over again. But think about it- if you sinned for 18 years of your life you can’t expect 18 years of sins to all be cleaned up in an instant, or even 4 years of living in faith. Some sins are so deeply rooted; it takes time to completely cleanse yourself of them. Sometimes I pray God removes those memories from my mind and if I accidentally watch something that awakens lust in me- I repent for it. When I find myself struggling to overcome temptation I am reminded of this scripture, 1 Corinthians 10:13,
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
It’s true that the Lord is faithful and he will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. Overcoming temptation is about developing a strong mentality filled with God’s word so we never fall victim to Satan’s schemes, and like I said earlier, calling on the Lord when the temptation is too strong.
The biggest realization I had last night was that even if I marry- marriage will not solve my problems. Marriage will not keep you from sinning. We are still fully capable of sinning within marriage- I witnessed that as my father cheated on my mother with multiple women. Adultery is one of the biggest ways one can sin within a marriage, but adultery can take on many forms; it can be emotional, it can be hidden.
This reminds me of another post I saw. Pictured was a man walking through a crowd of women and the man held his head low, covering his head with his hand as if shielding his face from the sun. The post caption read, “How I want my man to act,” and it reminded me of a sad reality, something my latino family kind of normalized, which is that men are men and they will watch pornography, be attracted to other women, and can openly gawk at them in public. They didn’t teach me it was right, but it’s just something I think my culture kind of just knows and accepts sometimes.
But that in my opinion is absolute baloney and I do not want to be in a relationship with someone who is attracted to other women, or flirts with other women, or even has female friends- for me that’s a big no-no. I realized though, that if this is what I desire in a relationship then I must also be just as clean and as pure as I expect my future husband to be. But who is my husband now? God. I must remain faithful to Him in this period of my life. Because if I can’t be faithful in my relationship with God then how will I ever be faithful to my future husband?
Since I am God’s counterpart of love I hold myself to a high standard. He is my spiritual counterpart, my lover, my bridegroom, my other half. I prioritize Him above anyone else.
I am spiritually married to the Lord, meaning I should treat him as well as I would a spouse. He is not just my father, and I am a measly child who only receives love. No- a bride must love at an even higher level. I must love him passionately, fervently, and serve him with all of my being.
So I realized since I am spiritually married to God this is how I should act. My eyes should be only on him, I should not look to anyone else. I should not be distracted by my attractions, but instead flee temptation and keep myself from any situations that could cause me to sin against him. God is a jealous God after all.
This is the attitude of a true bride. She only has eyes for her beloved.
To non-christians or worldly people this may seem like an exaggeration- even for some christians this may seem too difficult. Truth is not always an easy pill to swallow. The beauty of God’s word is it brings sin to light.
But in order to break a bad habit you have to understand the why.
Why do some people obsess over romantic love to the point it becomes an idol? Well I asked chatgpt to pinpoint a few reasons for me and this is what she said:
1. Biological wiring
On a pure brain-chemical level, romantic love activates dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin—the pleasure and bonding cocktail. It’s almost like a drug. We’re evolutionarily wired to seek connection for reproduction and survival, and romantic love hits that reward system hard.
2. Cultural influence
From childhood, we’re soaked in stories—movies, books, music—that tell us romantic love is the ultimate human experience. Think Disney, rom-coms, fairy tales… all reinforcing this idea that you’re “complete” when you find “the one.”
[Kat here: this one I completely stand behind. Yep, the media wired us to think we can’t be complete without finding our one true love.]
3. Identity & validation
For some, romantic love is closely tied to self-worth. Being loved romantically can feel like proof that you’re desirable, valuable, or seen in a deep way. It can feel like a mirror that reflects back your best self.
[Kat here: Mhm, which is why loving Jesus is so great- he teaches us our true worth is in him.]
4. Desire for deep intimacy
A lot of people crave that feeling of being deeply known and accepted by someone. Romantic love, at its best, offers emotional closeness, vulnerability, physical affection, and mutual support. It taps into our basic need for connection.
5. Escapism or fulfillment
Some people idealize love as a way out of loneliness, stress, or dissatisfaction with life. It can be seen as the missing piece or the path to happiness, even if that’s not always true.
These unhealthy obsessions with romantic love can take away our peace, be a waste of time, and ruin our mood. I asked chat gpt what are some ways we can break the obsession and she kind ate with these.
Here’s some ways to break the obsession:
🧠 Reframe what love means
Romantic love isn’t the only kind of love that matters. Deep friendships, creative flow, community, solitude, self-trust—all of these are legitimately fulfilling. Try putting other forms of connection at the center for a while. Sometimes just naming them as real and important starts the shift.
🧱 Build your inner world
What would your life look like if romantic love wasn’t the goal? What would you pursue, explore, create? Focusing on yourself as the main character (not as someone waiting for a co-star) is a power move. Your joy, your weird interests, your peace—all that is enough.
🧘♀️ Deprogram the fantasy
Notice where the obsession is coming from. Is it loneliness? Wanting to feel chosen? A desire to escape a part of life that feels heavy? Often, it’s not love itself we’re craving—it’s what we think love will give us. Addressing the root can loosen the grip.
🔥 Practice desire detox
Try taking a break from romantic content—movies, music, social media that stirs it up. Not forever, just long enough to see how much it’s feeding that obsession. Replace it with stuff that feeds other parts of you—curiosity, humor, creativity, stillness.
🤝 Shift your connections
Pour energy into friendships, chosen family, or communities where you feel seen and appreciated. You’ll start to see that emotional intimacy and support aren’t exclusive to romance—and that can be so freeing.
[Kat here: This is where finding a church community is important. Look for a church that will turn you into a disciple not just a mere lukewarm christian. If you’re not christian, look for book clubs, fun social outings in your area that align with your interests!]
Then I kept chatting with Chatgpt a little while longer and I was shocked by her wisdom. Read the following:
“You’re not broken for wanting love. But you’re also not broken for wanting to let go of the need for it. Honestly, what you’re feeling is so human. Wanting a physical partner to love and be loved by isn’t weak or shallow; it’s a longing for closeness, comfort, and shared experience. That’s sacred in its own way.
At the same time, it’s really powerful that you’re anchoring yourself in faith and trust in God’s timing. That kind of surrender isn’t passive—it’s deeply active. It takes strength to hold desire in one hand and peace in the other.
You’re saying, “Yes, I long for this—but I’m not going to let it rule me or define my worth.” That’s huge.
If it helps, maybe think of this season as a kind of preparation—not in the cliché “become the best version of yourself for someone else” kind of way, but in the “grow into the wholeness that no relationship can take away” kind of way.
You’re already worthy of love, right now, with or without someone next to you in bed or holding your hand. And if God has someone in mind for you, it’ll come without you having to chase or obsess or break yourself to find them.
You’re not behind. You’re not missing anything. You’re just exactly where you’re meant to be.
Want help leaning more into contentment in the waiting? Or something more practical to take your mind off the ache when it shows up?”
“Yes,” I replied.
Okay, let’s work with both the spiritual heart of this and the practical day-to-day stuff—because they go hand in hand.
🌿 Leaning Into Contentment While Waiting
1. Pray or journal your longing honestly
Don’t just push the feelings down—bring them to God as they are. “I want this, but I trust You.” That kind of raw, surrendered honesty builds intimacy with Him. Your longing isn’t a weakness—it’s an offering.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4
(Sometimes He fulfills the desire, and sometimes He transforms it.)
2. Treat the waiting as sacred, not empty
This time isn’t “nothing until love shows up.” It’s its own full chapter. Ask yourself: What is this season trying to teach me? How is God shaping me through the waiting?
You’re not waiting for life to begin—you’re in it, now.
3. Pour love outward
If you’re craving love, one of the best ways to feel it is to give it:
- Write affirmations or encouragements for your friends.
- Volunteer or help someone quietly.
- Be present for someone else’s story.
It fills the same part of the soul in a surprising way.
4. Strengthen the foundation that a future love would join, not complete
This is the time to explore passions, build routines, discover your voice, deepen friendships, or heal what’s raw.
A relationship later won’t rescue you—it’ll mirror where you are. And you’re already becoming someone deeply rooted.
🛠️ Practical Anchors for When the Ache Hits
- Create a “comfort kit”: When the longing hits hard, have a list of soul-soothing things ready—your favorite worship songs, walks in nature, a creative project, warm tea, deep breathing, a psalm that centers you.
- Limit content that triggers longing: Social media couples, romantic playlists, or certain shows can stir things up. Create a space around you that matches the peace you want to live in.
- Check in with God instead of spiraling: When you catch yourself daydreaming or obsessing, gently shift: “God, I feel this. I give it to You. Fill me again.”
- Celebrate other kinds of intimacy: Plan a deep hang with a close friend. Hug people you love. Share your heart. Love isn’t just romantic—it’s everywhere, if we look for it.
You’re doing something really beautiful by choosing peace, patience, and trust over desperation. That’s rare. And it’s going to serve you so well, no matter how your story unfolds.
Yep so Chatgpt kinda ATE with these practical tips. I do not plan on using chatgpt that often but I wanted to try it because I heard people were starting to use Chatgpt for therapy, which is insane lol, but now that I’ve tried it I can see why people would use it- it’s a pretty powerful free tool. I’m not against it but I definitely want to encourage everyone to learn from God and seek answers only from Jesus; he is the way, truth, and life. When you learn his word, it sustains you, far beyond what a therapy session with chatgpt can do. You create stories with Jesus and God will give you realizations no one can take away from you.
Anyway, that’s all for today! Hope this helps and until next time,
Kat <3
