katI am a Salvadoran-American first-generation girl from Houston, Texas though I was born and raised in Pasadena, Texas. This is my recount of my family’s trip to El Salvador this past summer and my realizations from visiting my family. About half of my family migrated to the U.S. in the 80s/90s due to poverty and the hardships that resulted from the Salvadoran Civil War. The other half chose to stay in El Salvador despite the difficulties. Growing up we continued to connect through phone calls, and occasional trips to El Salvador during the holidays, though it’s been really hard to stay connected especially in the past decade. I recall going to El Salvador often growing up, but then our finances got tighter and my family became more estranged. Visiting our family became more of a dream rather than something within our reach.
Spring 2021 around March my aunt suggested we go to El Salvador and initially I was against it because besides the obvious (COVID) we didn’t have a lot of money. I admit, we took a leap of faith and made a really reckless choice. I’m not sure I would make that choice now. Really, I was the one who encouraged my mom to say yes to going together with my aunt’s family. They were resolute to go, whereas my family was on the fence. Initially my mom shut down the idea completely, but I told my mom that tickets were never going to be this cheap again and that she should visit my grandpa because he isn’t getting any younger. I thought if we were socially distanced and all had the vaccine everything would be okay.
The last time my mom saw him was about 4 years ago for about a week, but before then she hadn’t gone to El Salvador to visit him in about 8 years or more; the only way they stayed connected was through the occasional phone calls every couple of weeks. It was quite sad really because she spoke so much about him and her memories of their relationship as she was growing up. My mom was raised close to my grandpa for the most part of her life until she turned 17, when her residency papers came through and she had to leave for the U.S.
We really thought things with COVID were going to get resolved soon because people were getting vaccinated and we hoped cases would be minimal by summertime. Also, my grandpa had gotten really ill recently due to non-covid related reasons, at one point he ended up in the hospital. This only made my mom more determined to visit him after realizing the fragility of his life. Though we were broke after paying for his expenses we went ahead and bought the tickets and decided to seize the opportunity. Though deep down we knew covid could easily wipe any one of us we hoped we’d be safe. Our deep yearning to be with our family and our faith triumphed over our fears, as valid as those fears were (covid is no joke). In summary, we did something crazy.
Soon after getting the tickets, reality started to settle and I realized perhaps I shouldn’t have encouraged us to go to El Salvador at all, but by then we’d bought the tickets and it was too late. I tried to get out of going a couple times but my family was really adamant that I go. I think trying to get out of going had more to do with the fact that I was considering visiting my father who lives in El Salvador, which would be the first time in over a decade.
So I started praying to God every night that all of my family and I would be protected from COVID in El Salvador. I really mean it when I say I prayed every night. I missed a day here and there, but really I always kept it in my mind and prayed constantly. Not only did I pray but I started to research the current state of covid in El Salvador. COVID cases were actually quite low and I wondered if it was genuinely because El Salvador was being careful or if it had something to do with lack of testing.
Nonetheless, I kept praying for cases to lessen in the nation because even though they were low in comparison to other countries there were still lots of cases. I knew the numbers weren’t just numbers but real people with lives and families like mine. I realized how important it was that I pray for the nation. Over a period of about two months, I prayed for COVID cases to lessen, for vaccine distributions to improve, and for my family to be eligible to get the vaccine. The crazy part is God heard me and things started to change. Suddenly a headline popped up in the news widget on my phone which piqued my interest. I still have a screenshot of the article which I will include below.
This was a few days after I started praying, so it felt encouraging like God was telling me, “Hey I got it, I’ve received your prayer and I’m working on it.” Then I started researching more and finding articles that showed cases in El Salvador were lessening, and that was getting vaccine donations from China and monetary donations from America. They weren’t getting as much aid before. Suddenly vaccines were available for more than just healthcare staff or cops, but for people like my grandpa who is in his 60s, and gradually for people like my dad who are in their 40s, and for people like my aunt’s and others with at-risk illnesses. I prayed for my entire family to be able to get the vaccine. Unfortunately, not everyone did by the time we got to El Salvador but the majority in my family who were older and most at risk were able to.
Now that I’m researching I’m finding articles that show the increasing progression of El Salvador vaccine distribution.
Some of these articles were written while we were in El Salvador, even then I continued to pray.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/20/politics/covid-vaccine-central-america/index.html
https://www.as-coa.org/articles/tracker-us-vaccine-donations-latin-america
https://sv.usembassy.gov/united-states-donates-1-5-million-covid-19-vaccines-to-el-salvador/
I didn’t realize the U.S. donated 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines to El Salvador on the 4th of July which was actually the day we came back to Houston. Like a gift from God.
Others might not believe God heard me and come up with reasons to disprove what I’m saying and that’s ok. I’m not saying he showed El Salvador favor and was only helping my nation. God was working through people to help the entire world. It’s just that when I prayed things changed quickly, in a way that others might consider coincidental but I don’t.
I think God made a miracle happen, just as he makes daily miracles happen in our lives. Prayers work and God does hear our prayers.
During the entirety of our two week trip no one in my family got COVID, and though I myself wore the mask and tried to social distance I’ll be honest and say there were many moments in which it was entirely impossible for us to be careful. Sometimes we simply forgot, other times we found ourselves in places that were too crowded, or people refused to social distance and wear the mask even when we did.
Though we tried our best to be careful and avoid COVID by washing our hands, wearing masks, and social distancing-I know for a fact we probably were in places where we could’ve gotten infected, but we didn’t thanks to the Holy Spirit’s working. I kid you not I was so scared that any one of my family members might contract COVID throughout the trip. I carried hand sanitizer, wiped everything down, and constantly reminded my family to be careful. I was anxious when we took our test for the plane ride back but thank God we tested negative. Hallelujah!
Did God make a miracle happen? Did God hear my prayers? I believe so. Did I myself need to be careful and be precautious in spite of my prayers, yes, because though God is a miracle worker we also have freewill and are capable of making harmful choices. I made a fair few on this trip and wasn’t always careful, but somehow I believe God inspired my family and I to take actions that would lead us not to contract covid-like reminding us to wash our hands, wear the mask, and avoid crowds when possible. Therefore, we didn’t catch it. I always prayed for my family’s protection during the trip and to be somebody he could work through to fulfill his good will.
This is not to say that if you just pray to God for protection you will never contract COVID. We have a human responsibility to be careful on our own because we have bodies that can easily get ill. Believers aren’t invincible. Sometimes death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints, as that one Hamilton song says. If you get COVID, it doesn’t mean God does not love you or he’s not protecting you.
You might even be thinking, `Why do we need to pray for God to protect us? Why can’t he just do it for us?’ Believe me, if God could just control our bodies like puppets so we wouldn’t get hurt throughout our lives, I think he would, but again we have free will because of his love. Love is not controlling or forceful. It’s our body, God can only work through us as much as we allow. There are things which are God’s responsibility, and things which are our responsibility. God can’t eat, drink, run errands, or work for us. We gotta do that. Though he can surely inspire us (as much as we allow) so that we do these things with the utmost wisdom and ease.
My family and I got COVID last year and at the time I honestly worried and wondered ‘Does God love me?’ When bad things happen in our lives we have a tendency to wonder if he loves us or if it’s God doing it. I wondered if there was something I did wrong or if I no longer had God’s favor. I realized he is always for us, not against us. I didn’t do anything wrong, we just weren’t careful enough!
Sometimes people catch COVID by accident, even when you are as careful as you possibly can be. That’s why even believers in God have gotten COVID, and unfortunately even passed away. It doesn’t simply come down to faith in God, but human responsibility and action. I know now God does love me and he loved me even though I got it. He took abundant care of me and my family when we were sick and he cared for me: I got financial aid, food, and so much care from friends and family. That was God’s love for me.
None of my family passed away, but even if any one of them had God would’ve still loved me, even if I didn’t realize it. We got COVID because we weren’t careful enough. When one family member started showing symptoms I didn’t isolate myself, none of us did because we hoped it was just a cold.
So again, it’s human responsibility to be careful. It’d be like crossing the street without looking out for cars, getting in an accident, then saying “God why didn’t you protect me?” I know this is different from Covid, but I hope you get the point. We shouldn’t blame God for the things that go wrong in our lives. He only predestines good things. Romans 12:2 “Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” God’s will for our lives is good. It’s for us to live long healthy lives, but if we aren’t careful with taking care of our health after he’s given us science and so much wisdom-how then can we blame him? At the same time, I dare say we ought to take the weight off even ourselves and stop blaming each other. We’re just human. Hating ourselves or each other will not help us. We should forgive ourselves and each other, and work together to overcome COVID-19.
If one of your family members has passed away or fell ill you might wonder: Does God love me? Even so, I promise you God loves you. Bad things don’t happen to us because God doesn’t love us. This kind of stuff isn’t predestined but it occurs due to natural causes, the choices we make, and the simple fact that we are flawed and human with vincible bodies bound to physically die someday. Though there is a hope of obtaining eternal life in the soul and spirit.
I’ve realized that when we pray to God and ask him for something, when he grants us our prayer, it’s only then that we realize it was his doing. If we don’t pray but our wishes come true we might attribute it to other factors without realizing it was Him. We might think it was simply a coincidence. I tell you, there is power in prayer; suddenly we become attuned to God’s will, to his working and we follow his path- his good, perfect, and pleasing will.
In the next blog post I’ll talk about the actual start of my trip but I wanted to tell you about this miracle first and give a little background on our trip.
Until the next time,
Kat.
