katNot feeling God in your life? Feeling like He’s left your side? Losing faith in his existence? Or never even had faith in God in the first place?
I’ve been there. As a devout follower of Jesus Christ, people often make assumptions about my faith. They have no idea how immensely I struggled to believe in Jesus. I tried everything before meeting Jesus: new age, looked into all kinds of denominations, listened to all kinds of podcasts, studied philosophy, read many books about spirituality, tried all kinds of spiritual practices. I indulged in materialism and all kinds of sin (by ignorantly telling myself it wasn’t sin). None of it was the cure.
Then I decided to give Jesus a chance. Me coming to believe in Him WAS an absolute MIRACLE, my friends will tell you (haha).
Why do I believe Jesus is the truth? It’s more than BLIND belief or faith. I decided to have a little faith that a man I never met, could have some kind of divinity in him called ‘God’. I decided to learn about his story, as I had never fully learned about it or read it. I came to like the story. I thought, “Wow, this man is so wise, look at the words of love he preached.” I came to like even the Old Testament stories. I started to understand God, and our hearts matched, becoming one and the same. Then I learned who wrote the story (the Bible, I mean) and who told the story. I liked the writers, the preachers, the witnesses-and I accepted the credibility of their testimonies even if they’re from long ago. Just because you can’t feel or see something doesn’t mean it’s not true. I’ve never been to space but there’s enough evidence to believe it really exists. I’ve never been to Alaska but I’ve heard and seen enough about it to know it’s a true place. In the same way, I gradually accepted the existence and teachings of Jesus. How could so many people believe in this one guy? How could they all have so many miracles and testimonies with him? And how could they not be true?
Accepting Jesus’ existence and his own testimony of who he is was the hardest part of my faith journey. I had to make an active effort to learn as much as I could. I’d never studied a subject so much in all my life. But with a subject as huge as God I knew I had to. God is big; how can you expect to learn about the Almighty All-knowing God in a day, or even year. It takes an entire lifetime- he’s just too great.
The body likes comfortable things-but nobody who’s ever been successful has ever been comfortable. So I had to do the uncomfortable thing and wake up early on a Sunday and go to church. I slowly opened my heart to thoughts and teachings different from what I’d learned growing up. The Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the truth. I learned about history, biblical teaching, and the truth that made life worth living. I liked what I was being taught- for nothing else anyone of faith had ever taught me made sense but this did! I couldn’t deny God’s Word. I decided to have a little faith that a Savior named Jesus was the answer to my problems. Overtime, I saw him solving all my problems. How can someone who isn’t true solve your deepest problems?
Then with that little faith in Him, I learned about him. I learned about his life in more detail and inscribed his story in my heart like you would someone you were falling in love with. I saw unbelievable miracles, saw the signs that God is here, that HE HAD chosen me (flawed as I was) and was speaking to ME. Jesus Christ, my Savior, changed my life. I started feeling happier, I started healing from my past trauma, and I felt God working and blessings in my daily life.
That didn’t come for free though; I prayed and pleaded to discern the truth, sometimes on my knees and in tears. I prayed every morning, afternoon, and night asking God to show himself to me and teach me the truth and help me, a being with such a limited human perspective, understand what I could not. If it was the truth; truth has to make sense-I couldn’t believe something I didn’t understand fully. But I sought the truth until the end and I patiently invested all my time to learn about God through the Bible and the more I took action on the Word of God the more I saw amazing results.
With time my questions were answered and I became convicted of the truth through the Word and my own life experiences. They were miracles and proof of Jesus’ existence.
Miracles happen as a result of what you have done. God grants and fulfills miracles; but He ultimately needs you to believe in Him to fulfill them. God’s purpose in performing miracles is ultimately so we will believe in the Messiah. If you refuse to believe in Him, He cannot show you miracles because you will always deny them saying they are just coincidence or it’s just “people” who helped you. God leaves when people don’t appreciate Him. He won’t show miracles to you, he’ll just leave you alone. It’s like human beings. If we fail to invest in our relationships, love grows cold, and we eventually separate. We became disconnected.
You must not simply listen to God’s Word, but put it into action. Only then will you see God working in your life.
”He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)
I pray you will seek to know Jesus fully and find answers. ”Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.“ (Matthew 7:7)
I pray you’re willing to ignore your physical body’s desires and comfort-if even for the dozen or so years of life we actually live after you count away all the time we spend eating, sleeping, and doing physical acts (yes life is short)- so that you can gain something spiritual and eternal. I pray you’re willing to lay down your pride and sin, and humble yourself before the Lord.
I pray you’re disciplined in your study of God as you are disciplined in the things you want. I pray you seek the Lord with all your heart, will, and life.
I pray you take his word to heart. Valuable things are the hardest to find. Treasures are hidden deep, only those who dig until the end will find them.
